At Hospice of Havasu, our trained staff can work with you and your child when grief and sadness seems to be taking over their life.

Here is some helpful information.

Common Grief Reactions Shown in Children

AGES 2-6
Many children of this age will show little or no reaction to the death at first. Some behavior changes that may occur are increased anger, regression, or clinginess. Some may have increased fears or nightmares.
Abstract concepts are difficult to understand and they may think they have caused the death. Through art and play their pain and feelings are released.

AGES 7-11
At this age, the child may yearn for the loved one but may want to hide their feelings because they don’t want to appear childish or different from their peers. They may become fearful of dying themselves and may have difficulty sleeping. Objects and photos are very important to children of this age. They tend to express themselves in art, stories, music, play and aggressive behavior.

TEENAGE
Teens may feel they need to take care of the family and may become bossy in an effort to be in control. The pain they experience may be expressed through physical symptoms, anger, or depression. Some may become reckless and turn to aggressive behaviors. Schoolwork may suffer as well. It is important to set appropriate limits and listen as language is a common way that teenagers will express their grief. Support groups will help them feel normal and not alone in their grief.

Ways to help a grieving child

Listen to their words.
Accept the child’s words by reflecting back what the child said. Ask clarifying questions.

Listen to their actions.
Some children will express themselves through their behavior, their play or drawings. Others may not sleep well at night. Some children will excel in their school work, while others may have difficulty concentrating and completing their homework.

Be honest.
Children are also able to sense when something is wrong. We may want to protect them by hiding the truth, but this will complicate their grief when they do find out. It will also teach them that hiding the truth is okay.

Answer their questions.
Use concrete words, such as died or killed instead of “passed away.” If you don’t know the answer it’s okay to say “I don’t know.”

Keep their lives consistent and routine.
This will help alleviate the sense of disorder and anxiety which naturally follows a loss.

Talk about the person who died.
Remembering a person who died helps children to heal. It will also give the child permission to share their feelings about the deceased.

Expect and allow all kinds of emotions.
Shock, numbness, anger, sadness, fear. Some children will experience many, some very little, depending on the type of death, the age of the child and their relationship to the deceased. They may come and go at different times and in no particular order.

Facilitate their expression of feelings.
Some wonderful outlets for working out feelings are artwork, journaling, writing a story about their loved one, working with clay, or creating a family tree.

Keep communication lines open with other significant adults in their lives.
Let one another know when you are noticing difficulties or changes. Get more information or help from the professional community.