By Silvia Parker, Hospice of Havasu Bereavement Counselor
Losing someone you love is one of the most traumatic experiences you will ever have to endure. Few things compare to the pain of losing someone you love. Sadly, there are those who experience a different level grief caused by a loss that is stigmatized.
Some examples of stigmatized losses include losses by murders, death by suicide, drug abuse/overdoses, HIV/AIDS or death associated with some sort of criminal activity. Stigmatized loss can affect the legacy of the person who passed and have a profound effect on how those who cared for the individual will grieve. Some may feel disenfranchised in their ability to openly acknowledge the loss of their loved one. This can result in the reluctance to reach out for or accept support in their grief, which can lead to social isolation due to perceived or actual lack of empathy and validation of their loss.
Because stigmatized grief can lead to significant changes in close relationships, it may be difficult to find people who are able to understand you or support you. People may not know what to say or do, they may not know how to help you. You may not receive support from people you expect to, but instead, find support from unexpected sources. As you gain clarity on what it is you need, do not be afraid to ask for it. Be purposeful about who you choose to spend your time with now. Share with others who share or validate your feelings by finding grief support groups that specialize in certain topics like death by suicide for example. Discover ways to honor your loved one such as giving back to your community by donating your time or financial support to organizations and groups that bring awareness and prevention to your type of loss. Share happy memories about your loved one and seek out ways to memorialize your loved one to find meaning and purpose through your loss.
If the intensity of your grief increases or if you experience persistent anxiety and depression that impairs your ability to function, seek out professional help.