By Silvia Parker, Hospice of Havasu Bereavement Counselor
Grief can be an overwhelming feeling that can last days, months, or even years. It’s a response to the death of a loved one, a relationship, or any other meaningful situation in your life. Because grief and loss trigger the most distressing pain an individual has ever felt, human nature kicks in and thinks of ways to make the pain go away. Drinking alcohol and/or using substances can seem appealing because they provide a “quick fix” for immediate, difficult emotions. The problem is, when you avoid tough emotions by numbing them, they don’t just magically go away. This can set the stage for abuse and possibly developing an addiction to drugs and alcohol. For those who are in recovery from drugs and alcohol, grief can be overwhelming and can lead to relapse. An essential element of recovery is that one learns new coping skills that replace the dependence of alcohol or drugs. People in recovery may be unable to use these skills when tragedy strikes.
Working through painful emotions in a healthy manner are important and necessary part of processing loss and ultimately adapting to the life now in front of you. Part of grief is figuring out healthy ways to live with the pain of loss, making that pain easier to feel and manage over time. That is something that can be extremely difficult to do without using substances.
Most people may lack the tools to deal with the devastating pain of grief and loss. Pain and loss are a normal part of life and there are healthy ways to deal with this pain.
Some methods of coping without the use of substances are:
- Stay Healthy – It is very important to take care of your health. The mind-body connection is powerful, and even more so in times of great stress or emotion.
- Practice mindfulness techniques – Mindfulness techniques, including prayer and meditation, work to connect the mind with a sense of peace and calm, quieting the flood of strong emotions that are a natural part of grieving
- Seek out and accept support – The depths of grief can cause some individuals to isolate because expressing strong feelings of grief in front of others can be extremely difficult. Connecting with communities of support can make a world of difference when people are consumed with grief. Grief support groups, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Celebrate Recovery are some helpful resources that may help individuals connect with others who have gone through similar experiences.
If these methods are not sufficient and you reach a point where you are overwhelmed with feelings that make you feel unsafe, close to relapse, or as though you cannot survive them, this is the time to reach out for professional help.